Your Future Family by Kim Bergman

Author:Kim Bergman
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633411241
Publisher: Red Wheel Weiser

When the Surrogate Provides the Womb

Again, all babies develop in a womb. If you don't have one or medical problems exist, you will need the help of a gestational surrogate to grow your baby. Gestational surrogates are women who provide a “host” womb, carrying and giving birth to another person's baby. They do not genetically contribute to the baby. (Historically, some women were traditional surrogates, women who become pregnant through insemination rather than IVF, but this is not very popular anymore and rarely done.)

Surrogates are usually paid between $25,000 and $35,000. They are paid throughout the process with larger payments at various milestones (like when they start injections or hit a marker in the pregnancy). Then they are paid the balance of the fee after the baby is born. The range of fees has to do with various factors. For example, if a surrogate is carrying twins, she is better compensated for the increased wear and tear on her body. If she is an experienced surrogate, she will also be paid a bit more. All of this will be spelled out in the contract. However, women do not become surrogates for the money. Frankly, there is not enough money in the world to properly compensate them. After all, they must endure screenings and shots and medications and all sorts of minor and occasionally major inconveniences. They hear things like, “You have to be at the doctor's office tomorrow morning at nine, and I'm sorry that it's your daughter's turn for show and tell and you're going to have to miss it.” Or sometimes they hear much worse, like, “You'll need full bed rest for the next eight weeks, which means you can't go to work or help around the house or attend your child's school play and ballgames.”

So why, you might ask, would any woman put herself through this intense process? There is a very good answer to that question. She does it because she is one of the nicest and most generous people on earth.

Often these women are either stay-at-home supermoms or they're in a helping profession. A lot of them are nurses, teachers, or childcare providers who love what they do. The desire to be of service is a dominant personality trait of all surrogates. They are incredibly caring, bighearted women. They help people whenever they can, no matter the inconvenience. They donate blood, they volunteer at the local soup kitchen, and they would donate a kidney if someone needed it. If they had an extra $100,000, they would give it to charity. In short, surrogates want to make the world a better place, and they're willing to sacrifice in all sorts of amazing ways to make that happen.2

Surrogate Kelly has given birth to eight babies—three of her own and five for other families. Not long ago, one of Kelly's own kids, her nine-year-old son Sawyer, passed away of lymphoma. Since Kelly is a frequent and well-known blogger about surrogacy and related topics, she was able to share openly with other surrogates about Sawyer's illness and his passing.

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